


Captain Farmway

by Querion



Category: Captain Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:09:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5256776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Querion/pseuds/Querion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship USS Voyager cannot seem to stay out of trouble...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Farmway

**Author's Note:**

> Janeway gets in trouble and has hallucinations. Will she get out of this one?

Captain Farmway lurches forward as the ship continues to jerk violently. Sparks and smoke fill the eerily lit space of the bridge. Mussed hair and a deep cut on the left cheek, she picks herself off the bridge deck. Suddenly everything is calm. All she hears are the gentle beeps of various sick bay machines. She opens her eyes and meets the gentle eyes of the doctor who was standing at her bedside looking down at her. Something is different about him. He has sheep`s horns on his head. 

Doctor Sheep, as he is now known, starts to explain to the shocked captain in a gentle voice. "Don`t be alarmed captain Farmway. You are in sick bay. You took a heavy fall on the bridge and hit your head on the deck after the Bat ship attack. You had a concussion and lost consciousness. I have repaired the larger cuts, lacerations and stopped the bleeding. You need to rest now. 

Seven of Nine walks into sick bay a few minutes after the doctor had finished talking to the captain. She stands at the bedside with hands behind her back, waiting for the captain to speak. The captain looks at her and notices that she looks like a graceful giraffe. The captain clears her throat and says "Seven, has the Borg encountered the Bat race before?" "My designation is Keeper of Time but yes captain. The Bat, species 123 were assimilated by the Borg twenty years ago. Their ability to echo locate and fly was added to the collective then. However, the Borg have failed to replicate the flying part mainly because of the drones` size. They are too big to fly and too heavy due to their implants." Seven drones but Farmway secretly loves Seven`s little explanations.

"Of course they did! Farmway says dryly. "Wait! What did you say your name was Seven?" To the doctor she says "Are my injuries life threatening doctor?" Seven answered cooly. "Keeper of Time. You changed my designation six months ago when you finally noticed my punctuality for my duty shifts and everything else i do." The doctor shook his sheep horned head "No captain. You are only here for observations." Farmway then thanks the doctor but says that she cannot stay in sick bay as the ship needs her. She hops off the bio bed, which looks like a giant pizza, onto the floor. She suffers momentary dizziness which soon passes. Keeper of Time safely supported her to stand up. She thanks her and orders Keeper of Time to accompany her to engineering department. On the way Farmway tries to play along and answers Keeper. "Of course i did change your designation! How could i forget that?" Farmway had to use all her tact and starfleet training to try and figure out what was going on on her ship. If this was her ship. She was convinced that she was either in a different universe or she hit her head harder than the doctor had let her believe.

In engineering, there is smoke, sparks and debris everywhere. Crew are running around picking debris, shouting orders and carrying them out as they sealed conduits and pipes to prevent breaches which may affect the warp core functioning. A tiny sealed plastic packet filled with white substance (borax) hops around giving orders and scanning the warp core with a tricorder. On close observation, the captain sees distinct ridges on the top part of the plastic bag. Borax Torres was surprised to see the captain and Seven standing there. She was not expecting an inspection! "Everything is under control captain." She says while fighting off a gel pack which was constantly falling on Borax. The gel pack, which went by the name Gelman, has had a crush on the chief engineer ever since it set its eyes on her!

Farmway shakes her head and walks out of engineering with Keeper of Time right beside her. She scratched her head and let her hands slide from the top to her ears. Satisfied that she has no horns like the doctor`s, the duo proceeded to the bridge.

Most of the debris has been cleared. The work stations were mended by the ever efficient maintenance team. A brown and white guinea pig called Anya wearing yellow engineering uniform, hops off a console, chewing on a black wire. It stands at attention and said "Recycling captain. You, yourself have encouraged the crew to be resourceful." Then it goes on to give the captain a report that the panel is fully functional again. The smoke has been cleared and Farmway could hear the familiar low hum of the environmental fans at work clearing all the toxic fumes off the bridge and recycling fresh air. She looks around and for the first time, with a satisfied look on her face, she smiles. The smile, however, is short lived because when she sits in the captain`s chair and looks to the left, on the first officer`s seat, she finds a dark, polished plank of wood with distinct tatoos on its upper left half. To her far left, she sees a large raw winterberry busily scanning on its console at the operations station. At navigation sits a large pepperoni pizza. At tactical is a dark paperback dictionary opened on the words which start with the letters `fl` and the word `flumox` is clearly seen. Flumox raises his eyebrows in silent question. 

The captain asks Flumox for a tactical report to which he looks at his console, taps a few buttons and states that there is nothing to report. The Bat ships are not in pursuit. However, there are recent ion trails within three light years. This may indicate that there may be cloaked ships in the vicinity. 

"Cloth ships?" Flumox turns pages to the words `cloth` and then `ships.` He then starts to explain the meanings of the two words `cloth ships.` Farmway rolls her eyes then immediately regrets it as a wave of headache reasserts itself with vengeance. After a few minutes, she turns to the plank of wood and quietly asks it for a report. "Nothing to report, dear one, i mean, captain. The captain rolls her eyes again then regrets it. "I`ll be in my ready room."

In the ready room, Farmways settles herself behind the desk to get some work done, armed with a cup of coffee, black. Just as she is about to take her first sip, she hears a sniffing sound, like the one a puppy might make. When she looks on the floor she sees a single Nice biscuit with long blonde hair tied in a pony tail. She picks it up and was about to eat it with her coffee, the biscuit spoke. "Captain`s assistant reporting for duty. Do you have an assignment for me?

Farmway faints. When she opens her eyes, she notices that she is sleeping on a bio bed in the sick bay she is familiar with. The doctor is wearing a horned Viking hat, Chakotay is wearing a white tee shirt with a large printed picture of a healthy looking polished plank of wood. Seven is also at the bedside. She gives the captain a small smile, the captain smiles back, a second later she becomes horrified when she notices Seven is wearing a giraffe costume complete with tiny horns.

The doctor believes that the captain had an accidental drug inhalation. It induced hallucinations when she smoked the wrong smoke stick at a diplomatic function on a recent away mission. It knocked her unconscious for twenty four hours. Farmway was so glad to have her proper name back, Janeway, and to be back to her normal self again. She hugged all her senior staff in the mess hall, at a party organised by Neelix the hedgehog, the Talaxian. There was also an unrecognised crew member only known as X, with flaming red hair, bossy attitude and a Russian accent. When Tom Paris` favourite pizza was served, Janeway looked at it suspiciously as if expecting it to move. Nobody knew why she reacted this way...but we do.

THE END. 


End file.
